# Helping Your Child Through Bullying: What Parents Can Do If your child is being bullied, your response matters. Learn how to listen, work with the school, and watch for signs your child needs extra support. Canonical page: https://sos-wellness.org/helping-your-child-through-bullying Published by SOS Wellness. Updated: 2026-11-13. Finding out your child is being bullied can bring up a rush of feelings: anger, worry, guilt, and a strong urge to fix it immediately. Those feelings are understandable. Your child needs you to be steady, though, and to help them feel safe enough to keep talking. This guide covers how to recognize bullying, how to respond in the first conversation, how to work with the school, and when your child may benefit from professional support. ## What counts as bullying Bullying is generally understood as repeated, unwanted behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power. It can take several forms: - **Physical:** hitting, pushing, tripping, or damaging belongings - **Verbal:** name-calling, threats, or cruel teasing - **Social:** spreading rumors, deliberately excluding someone, or turning friends against them - **Online:** hurtful messages, posts, shared photos or group chats designed to embarrass or isolate Not every conflict is bullying. Friends argue and children say unkind things in the moment. What sets bullying apart is the pattern and the power difference, and the fact that the child on the receiving end cannot easily make it stop. ## Signs your child may be bullied Many children do not tell an adult right away. They may feel ashamed, fear making it worse, or worry they will lose their phone. Watch for: - Unexplained bruises, torn clothes or missing belongings - Reluctance to go to school, ride the bus or attend activities - Frequent headaches or stomachaches, especially on school days - Changes in eating or sleeping - Sudden drop in grades or loss of interest in schoolwork - Fewer friends, or avoiding social situations - Seeming anxious, tearful or upset after being online - Saying things like "nobody likes me" or "I'm stupid" These signs can have other causes too, but they are worth a gentle conversation. ## The first conversation How you respond when your child first opens up can shape whether they keep confiding in you. **Stay calm.** Take a breath before reacting. If you seem very upset, your child may hold back to protect you. **Listen fully.** Let them tell the story at their own pace. Ask open questions: "What happened next?" "How did that feel?" **Believe them and thank them.** "I'm really glad you told me. That took courage." **Make it clear it is not their fault.** Children who are bullied often blame themselves. Say directly that no one deserves to be treated that way. **Avoid quick fixes.** Advice like "just ignore it" or "hit them back" can leave a child feeling unheard or put them at risk. **Plan together.** Ask what they would like to happen and what they are afraid of. Let them know you will need to involve the school if they are unsafe, and explain how. ## Working with the school Most schools have a written policy on harassment, intimidation and bullying. Ask your child's school for a copy, and ask them to explain their reporting process and what steps they take. When you contact the school: - Write down what happened, when, where and who was involved, as clearly as you can - Save screenshots of online messages or posts - Ask to meet with a teacher, counselor or administrator - Ask what the school will do to keep your child safe and how they will follow up - Agree on a way to stay in touch, and check back if things do not improve Try not to contact the other child or their family directly. Even with the best intentions, those conversations can escalate quickly. ## Supporting your child at home While the school responds, you can help your child rebuild a sense of safety and confidence: - Make time for activities where they feel capable and connected, such as a sport, club, art or time with a cousin or neighbor - Help them identify a few trusted adults and friends at school - Practice calm, confident responses together, like walking away or using a short, firm phrase - Review privacy settings and blocking tools on devices together, without making them feel punished - Keep checking in, even after things seem better ## When your child may need more support Bullying can affect mood, sleep, self-esteem and school, sometimes long after the bullying itself has stopped. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if your child: - Seems persistently sad, anxious or withdrawn - Has trouble sleeping or has frequent nightmares - Avoids school or social situations for weeks - Talks about themselves in harsh, hopeless ways - Has started hurting themselves, or says they wish they were not alive Therapy can give children a safe place to talk through what happened, rebuild confidence and learn coping skills. Parents can also benefit from guidance on how to keep supporting their child without making them feel watched all the time. If your child says they want to die, talks about suicide, or harms themselves, take it seriously. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. ## If your child is the one bullying Sometimes the call from school is about your child's behavior toward others. It is hard to hear. Children who bully may be struggling with their own feelings, relationships or stress. Stay curious, set clear expectations, and consider whether support could help them understand and manage what is going on. ## Moving forward together Recovery from bullying is rarely a straight line. Some days will feel better than others. What helps most is knowing that a trusted adult is on their side and will keep showing up. SOS Wellness provides therapy and psychiatric care for children and teens, with parent coaching and school collaboration, in Middletown, in Norwood and by telehealth across Ohio. If you would like support, you can [request an appointment](https://sos-wellness.org/schedule-an-appointment) or [contact us](https://sos-wellness.org/contact-us) to ask how to get started.